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COMMENTARY: Five relationship tips for couples stuck at home together during the pandemic

Many of us are several weeks into stay-at-home directives from our governments and health officials. For many, social distancing means sharing a confined space with romantic partners while navigating new stressful issues including sudden unemployment, working from home, child care and the never-ceasing uncertainty.

Unsurprisingly, there are reports of divorce rates skyrocketing in China since the outbreak of COVID-19. Instability and stress can exacerbate insecurities and increase conflict for couples. As a scholar and a couple and family therapist, I offer five practical, evidence-based tips for couples when being stuck at home is making you feel stuck in your relationship.

1. Take space

Sharing a physical space with your partner for extended periods of time can increase pressure and stress. Without the daily routine of leaving the home, your space may begin to feel very small and irritation with one another may escalate quickly.

Research demonstrates that actively choosing to take alone time can contribute to relaxation and reduced stress. Consider taking regular blocks of alone time each day, whether it is a walk around the neighbourhood, closing the door to a room where you will not be disturbed or engaging in an activity that is just for you.

Communicating how you plan to take space will help your partner know how to support your efforts, and will encourage them to do the same. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you will have little to offer your partner

2. Where possible, use “I” statements

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When you need to tell your partner how you feel, try to speak from your perspective as opposed to accusing them of doing something wrong. For example, “I feel really defeated when I continue to find dirty dishes in the sink. Is there any way you can help me keep the kitchen clean?”

Using “I” language has been found to reduce perceptions of hostility and anger. “I” statements can help your partner hear your perspective instead of interpreting it as an attack and becoming defensive.

3. Press pause

Press pause on conflicts that are not going anywhere and set a time to try again later. When conflicts become heated, many couples enter into an automatic “fight, flight or freeze” response.

Our brains can experience conflict as a threat, and emotions and defences can become activated. When this happens we shut down and conflict resolution becomes impossible. If you notice you or your partner getting angry or distressed in a conflict, request to put the conversation on pause to give you both a chance to step back, breathe and think.

Once stress levels are lower, complex thinking, reflection and reasoning become possible. Set an agreed upon time to return to the discussion when you’re both awake, nourished and feeling more calm.

4. What’s your part?

If you find yourself continuing to get stuck in conflict with your partner, ask yourself, what part do I play in this conflict? Do I nag or pursue my partner when I am feeling anxious? Or, do I have a tendency to shut down, or avoid my partner when I am feeling pressured?

Emotionally focused therapist and researcher Sue Johnson, has found that couples often get stuck in problematic interaction cycles. Considering what role you take in a conflict cycle can help you try out new positions.

For example, what happens when you respond to your partner’s anxiety with compassion as opposed to feeling annoyed and walking away? What happens when you share your worries with your partner, instead of getting angry at them for not taking the garbage out, or not helping enough with child care?

5. Acknowledge strengths

Try to acknowledge one another’s strengths. What special skills does your partner have to get through hard times? If your partner is the one making home school schedules for the kids, or braving the grocery store while you work, let them know they are appreciated and compliment their ability to handle difficult situations.

Note what strengths they have that you admire. As recent research demonstrated, greater appreciation for one’s partner’s strengths predicted increased relationship satisfaction and intimacy. Acknowledging your partner’s positive attributes creates more good feelings between you.

While these tips will help you mitigate conflict in your relationship, remember to not expect perfection. These are stressful times, and you will inevitably lose your patience and experience frustration. Compassion for yourself and your partner will go a long way as you navigate these uncharted waters together.The Conversation

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Oil price goes into negative territory as traders get squeezed running for the exits

Oil prices plunged on Monday as traders got caught in a desperate race to offload contracts for just about any price they could get.

The price of a contract to deliver West Texas Intermediate crude oil next month plunged below zero, as traders got caught in flurry to sell their contracts before having to actually receive the oil.

The oil price is determined through investments known as futures contracts, which are agreements to buy and sell a certain amount of oil at a certain time in the future. The contract to deliver oil in May has been the most commonly traded contract of late, so it is currently considered to be the best proxy for the current oil price. Soon June's contract will be the benchmark.

Typically the contracts are bought and sold countless times before the oil is actually delivered to the final buyer. But the May contract is set to finalize on Tuesday, which means anyone holding contract at that point is agreeing to actually physically acquire the oil.

That's easier said than done lately, as storage tanks in North America are almost full to the brim, making it hard to find a place to put more oil. The U.S. oil hub in Cushing, Okla., had 55 million barrels of oil in storage as of Friday, the highest level since 2018.

Monday's startling oil price plunge was caused by traders feverishly trying to offload the contract before they actually have to find a place to keep the oil starting next month. When the futures market closed for the day, the May WTI contract sat at -$37.63. If that price holds until the end of Tuesday, it means anyone holding that contract will have to pay more than $37 for the right to also hand over a barrel of oil in May.

"This may prove to be one of the worst deliveries in history," said Phil Flynn, senior market analyst at Price Futures Group in Chicago. "Nobody wants or is in need of oil right now."

CME, which runs the market on which oil futures contracts are traded, clarified just last week that negative prices were theoretically possible, even though they had never happened in oil. "Support for zero or negative futures ... is standard throughout CME systems," the CME said.

While jarring, the oil price plunging into negative territory doesn't functionally mean that oil companies are en masse having to pay people to take away their product.

Rather, it means investors who created financial instruments to bet on the price of oil are having to pay hefty penalties to extricate themselves from trades they no longer want to be in.

Rory Johnson, managing director and market economist at Price Street, says the plunging future price is more like a "hot potato" being passed around between traders.

Whoever gets stuck with the hot potato "will be stuck with thousand of barrels of physical oil and no where to put it, which will get expensive very quickly," he said.

David Winans, principal at PGIM, said the unprecedented price plunge "feels like oil is passing a kidney stone, a very painful move, but it can't last for long, since producers are switching off wells as we speak," he told Reuters.

From March 2020: Oil from Canada's oilsands is now 'functionally worthless'

Storage on land is filling up everywhere, so some producers have taken to storing their excess oil at sea, renting tankers to float aimlessly to store the crude until a higher price or buyer can be found. Rates for the biggest oil tankers have soared as producers scramble to secure space to keep the crude they don't know what else to do with.

"Floating storage remains the only outlet for a mismatched production and consumption backdrop," Evercore shipping analyst Jonathan Chappell said in a note to clients last week.

The going rate for the biggest oil tankers in the world hit $165,000 a day this weekend, Chappell calculates, but despite that up-front cost, "it is difficult to envision a scenario where floating storage is not economic and required over the coming months."

June's oil contract is also lower, but nowhere near as much. Late in the day on Monday, the June contract was changing hands at $22.27 a barrel, down almost $3 on the day.

While May's plummet is excessive because of an unexpected imbalance, the intrinsic value of oil is indeed falling because there is too much supply and not enough demand for it.

The COVID-19 pandemic has walloped the global economy, as lockdowns, travel bans and factory shutdowns reduce the need for energy. Oil analyst Bjarne Schieldrop with SEB Research says global demand for oil has fallen by about 25 million barrels a day because of the pandemic.

NEWCrude storage is filling fast as demand tumbles, piling pressure on oilpatch

The oil cartel known as OPEC tried to address that earlier this month by promising to pump 10 million fewer barrels of oil every day, but even that huge supply cut isn't enough to offset the corresponding drop in demand.

"If your bathtub is about to overflow and you turn down the tap a little, it will still overflow," Schieldrop said.

'Negative prices are possible'

The type of oil that comes from Canada's oilsands is known as Western Canadian Select and it, too, has seen its price plunge in the current economic climate.

WCS typically trades at a discount to WTI since it is harder to transport and refine, but the sell off in WTI's price has pushed the price of WCS below zero.

Raymond James analyst Jeremy McCrea told CBC News in an interview that he expects the price of WCS will continue to flirt with going below $0 for a little while yet.

"We did see WCS go negative this morning," he said in an interview. "As we look forward into the next month it does seem to get a little bit better but with storage so full and getting more full by the day it doesn't look too optimistic over the next couple months."

Crude storage is filling fast as demand tumbles, piling pressure on oilpatch

Schieldrop says faced with these prices, many producers will have to stop pumping — possibly forever.

"The oil price is now ordering producers to halt production and it is happening at high speed and in an unorderly fashion,

 he said. "This is creating damage to production and some of it will never come back online again."

Hedge fund executive Pierre Andurand of Andurand Capital said negative prices make sense in the current climate. 

"There is no limit to the downside to prices when inventories and pipelines are full," he tweeted. "Negative prices are possible."

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